The Law of Attraction is an awesome dynamic for coming to terms with the world and our lack of control over it. The biggest problem is that it contains too much woo. Woo is a term used to indicate the amount of fluff and 'feel good' talk that is required to get on good terms with a subject. Religion has a lot of "woo" in that you have to believe in their ideas to get the benefit. Law of Attraction has a lot of "woo" also, but the woo is more generic and easier for some to get through. It still contains enough woo though to put a lot of people who would otherwise benefit off of it. During a recent training on dealing with "Difficult People" I was introduced to what I consider to be the practical side of the Law of Attraction. The instructor was amazing but the material was life changing. She did a great job of warming up to us and was even friendly enough to indicate that in any given difficult situation I (we) might actually be the one who is difficult. Then when she got us comfortable she introduced her CTFAR concept which I immediately committed to memory as "C Twoo FAR" (see too far) just to be able to remember it forever (just remove the woo). What she introduced us to was the crux of the Law of Attraction and the stuff that Magic and Miracles are made from. Then she showed us how to make that Magic happen. The "C Twoo FAR" concept (or more appropriately CTFAR) is very simple. The letters stand for Circumstance, Thought, Feeling, Action and Result. Here's how they work... Take a difficult situation. In that situation is a Circumstance where the situation began. That Circumstance is beyond our control. The remaining items were things that spawned from the Circumstance. The Circumstance happened, it caused a Thought in our mind, that Thought created a Feeling, that Feeling lead to an Action and the Action had Results. She gave us a simple example... You supervise Bob and Bob is not completing his work as needed or on time. You think that Bob is lazy. That thought makes you upset with Bob. Your irritation with Bob leads you to be terse with him. Bob has a hard time getting his work done because the boss is so terse with him. In the model it looks like this... C = Bob's work is not done T = Bob is Lazy F = Grrr... mad at Bob A = Short with Bob, Angry with Bob R = Bob's work is not done It a quick and easy example, but that's not where it ends. Next she taught us the stuff of Miracles and that is simply to work the model backwards early on. That looks like this... Our Circumstance hasn't changed and we have no control over it so we still fill in the C first... C = Bob's work is not done Next we decide what we want the result to be... R = Bob is caught up on work So... to get that result what action(s) would be needed? We have to think about this a bit... is Bob having trouble with the work? Does Bob have things going on at home that are a distraction at work? Does Bob need some help with the work? All good questions, so we decide that the action is to ask... A = Ask Bob what he needs to increase production and make sure he gets it Here is the hard part (gets much easier over time). Next we have to figure out how to feel to be able to ask Bob the question and get our result. Personally I need to feel kind, friendly and compassionate to perform the needed action. So... F = compassion So what though would I need to think regularly to fee compassion toward Bob? T = I wonder what I can do for Bob to increase his production. Now you have to actually think the thought... all the time, when talking or thinking about Bob. Make it your go-to though about Bob and you will notice that difficult situation dry up and blow away like the waste of time that it actually is. Our end model looks like this... C = Bob's work is not done T = I wonder what I can do for Bob to increase his production F = Compassion A = Ask Bob what he needs, Bob gets what he needs R = Bob is caught up on work Now... Go forth and C Twoo FAR! |
|
|